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  Susan Ward
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Crap, I'm having that feeling again, like, Susan don't do it...#amreading #amwriting #romance #kindle #author #indieauthor #blogging #newrelease

4/8/2016

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Does anyone else still get that feeling when they are about to hit release? I kind of thought by now it would go away. This is the 18th time through the hyper-paranoid, suddenly afraid, oh gosh what have I done just before the release moment. It should be easier. I actually have people now who read the work before it goes out--well, other than my editor.

Part of the benefit to having done some anthologies is that it forced me into the ARC--advanced read copy--ritual that most authors enjoy. I hate it. That pesky voice in my head can be so annoying even with positive feedback.

The worst me--the me inside me that no one sees--says things like this: It doesn't matter that Jane said is was fucking hot or a marvelous read, she's just being nice.  She probably hated it. Who is going to say something rude to a granny.

Ah, hello. Like lots of people. Believe it or not there are many people who, after reading your book, don't give a damn that you are a mild mannered, slightly neurotic, grandmother writer who just happens to write gritty and raw, angst ridden coming-of-age novels; erotica; m/m romance; and oh, a psychological lesbian erotic thriller.

Yep, granny gets around in the genres.

There will be glowing reviews, bad review, wrong reviews, and a few I won't even understand. It's the nature of the beast.

OK, strike my earlier question. I'd have to be insane not to have a moment of Susan don't do it.

As I approach my two year anniversary of being an Indie Author--
and yes folks it's been nearly two years we've been together--that panic, that thrill, that fear, that rush is all part of what makes this an amazing journey. For anyone who knows me, it's truly extraordinary that I'm willing to make myself vulnerable and say judge me. I've learned alot each and every time I hit release. A lot about me.  And this journey is not always rich with reward. It isn't always rich with praise. But hell, I always feel supercharged and it isn't dull.

What more can you ask in life?

As ever I wish you peace.

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